Why do anarchists drink herbal tea?
Because proper tea is theft!

How many right-Libertarians does it take to change a light-bulb?
Nope, if it needed changing the market would do it.

How do anarchists change a lightbulb?
From the bottom up...

How many anarchists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the lightbulb must change itself. All anarchists can do is help its process of self-change.

How many Stalinists would it have taken to change a light bulb during the first 5 year plan?
None, for if the light bulb needed changing then comrade Stalin - - the most wonderous man alive and the embodiment of all that we Marxist-Leninist-Stalinists hold dear and aspire to - - would have forseen the fact that the lightbulb needed changing and so organised the 5 year plan to replace the lightbulb before it needed changing from the vast stock of lightbulbs which the plan had produced - - stocks in excess of the amount originally planned, for the workers were inspired by their love of Stalin and the Socialist Motherland to work harder and produce more, using less!

How many anarcho-primitivists does it take to change a light-bulb?
Why should we change it - - we deliberately broke the thing in the first place as part of their attempt to destroy the oppressive, technological mega-machine we live under.

How many anarcho-individualists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One.

How many dutch anarchist squatters does it take to change a lightbulb?
We're not anarchists, we're autonomous!

How many Maoists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to smash the old one and another to declare, "No watching! This lightbulb is property of the state!"

How many white collar dogmatic Marxist-Leninists does it take to change a light bulb?
That's a contradiction in terms - - white collar workers can't be proletarians, therefore can't be Marxist-Leninists, that's clearly a sign of petty bourgeois revisionism!

How many Trotskyists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they'll SWEAR the light glows brighter than if a Stalinist had changed it.

How many Che Guevaras does it take to change a light bulb?
"At the risk of sounding ridiculous, I have to say that the true light bulb changers are guided by intense feelings of love."

How many members of Chumbawamba does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but it doesn't really matter since the music press will inevitablty give them a bad review anyway.

How many members of the Class War Federation does it take to change a broken light bulb?
Broken light bulb? The Class War Federation? Those bloody bastards must've plotted it!

How many King Arthurs does it take to change a light bulb?

King Arthur:"I am Arthur, king of the Britons! The lady of the lake rose from the waters and tossed me a light bulb, that it may be placed in the holy socket!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "What the bloody hell? Some wet tart isn't no basis for civil light bulb changing! We know how you really got that light bulb in place! By exploiting the working class!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #2: "There you go again, bleating on about class!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "But class is what it's all about!"
King Arthur: "I am your leader!"
Anarcho-syndicalist #1: "Oh, did you see that? He's oppressin' me!"
(Okay, this joke really isn't funny if you haven't seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail")

How many Bakuninists does it take to change a light bulb?
(First possible answer): One, but only because the material circumstances of mankind suggest that there was no supernatural lightmaker to "let there be light." Being a jealous lover of human darkness, I reverse the statement of Voltaire and say" If a supernatural light maker really existed, it would be necessary to abolish him. If a supernatural light maker is, man is not; if a supernatural light maker is everything, man is nothing.
(Second possible answer): Two. One to change the light bulb and another to demand that workers take direct control of the means of production, without state representation, which has up to this point enslaved and degraded mankind.
(Third possible answer): One, but he must be Slavic - - the inability to form a strong government in Slavic history is proof that the Slavs are innately free people, whereas the Germanic people are inherently autocratic.

How many Proudhonists does it take to change a lightbulb?
(First possible answer): One, but under the Roman-law definition of things, "lighting is theft."
(Second possible answer): Three: One to change the lightbulb, another to declare that all lightbulb changers must be equal and another to say that there are "inferior races of lightbulb changers" and that female light bulb changers do not deserve the same equality as male light bulb changers.

How many Dadaists does it take to change a light bulb?
Bathtub full of power tools.

How many ISO members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
0. They are all busy selling party newspapers.

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Fish....

How many surrealists does it take to change another lightbulb?
Aardvark on toast....

How many anarchists does it take to change a light bulb?
42. One to change the bulb, two to launch a bombing campaign against the bulb as a symbol of capitalist oppression, and 39 to start a self help group to persuafe light bulbs every where that they shouldn't obey oppressive institutions such as light bulb fittings but should overthrow the electricity dictatorship and form a free society where all electrical appliances can live in non exploitative harmony with their comrades in the class struggle, the calculators.

How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. The light bulb's own internal contradictions will inevitably lead to revolution.